Dealing with Your Vendors

In an ideal world we go out and find vendors for our weddings and other events that are people we naturally get along with. In fact, in some ways, when we meet with vendors we are putting them through a job interview (and speaking from being on the other side of it, they're always aiming to put their best face forward) and then deciding from this pool of applicants who to choose. Of course cost plays a large part in these decisions as well, sometimes taking great and personable vendors out of the running. I will admit I've become great friends with vendors I simply met and didn't even use.

But sometimes you don't really have a choice picking your vendor (I mean you fell in love with the location and the cost...and can give up control over the specific person right?). Let me tell you I have worked with a few brides caught up in this situation....dealing with a site coordinator or catering assistant or someone else who is just a little more trouble than they're worth.

And the advice I can give you (sorry Bridezillas) is to be patient and appeasing. The way that you're going to get the most out of your vendor is by treating them as best you can. Yes, you are the bride, and it's your show, but these vendors are dealing with "I think I'm the queen" brides everyday. If they want to go over every little detail or spend hours talking examples, you may not appreciate it, but they likely just want to make sure every "t" is crossed and every "i" is dotted so that your day runs as smoothly as possible. Unlike you, they've probably done this a million times (or well maybe that's an overstretch, but you catch my drift).

This is not to say, however, to let them walk all over you. Have boundaries, discuss concerns, and have an open relationship with your vendor. Be firm in what you request, but request it politely. If you have asked six times for your florist to set up a time to show you a sample centerpiece and she keeps forgetting, bring it up to her calmly, try to set the meeting on that call (or in person), and send her a reminder the day before to ensure everything comes to fruition. If things tend to take hours with your vendor but you only have 30 minutes to meet, create an agenda, send it to your vendor ahead of time, and make clear the points you'd like to attend to in that time period. Hopefully your vendor will be attentive. But a good point to be raised is that you are paying for a service, and if (despite your hard work to be patient and appeasing) that vendor still isn't carrying their weight...change vendors (if you won't lose a giant deposit) or ask to work with someone else in their firm (if it's a specific person that you're working with who does not work for you). After all, "the client is always right".

And we all know that there are vendors you just can't deal with...some personalities are just too much to handle (all in one dose or at all) but it is only for a short time. As I would tell my sister, "put on your big girl panties and get over it". You can brave the few meetings beforehand, and then the day of your wedding it's your planner's job to deal with them, not yours. In fact, if you've hired a wedding planner to do more than the day-of, go to them with your vendor problems and see if they can deal with the vendors, instead of you. Likely they are used to this and probably very talented at dealing with difficult people. The point is that after your wedding you'll be remembering your great event and not any negative personalities you had to work with to get there.

If you are having a problem with your vendor(s) and want some advice, or want to share a story with our readers as to how you solved a similar problem, please feel free to comment below!

Happy Planning!

~A