Well it turns out that Just Ask Amber was a success and another bride has already asked me for help. Yay! Again, I think sharing your questions and stories (and my answers) will help other brides or couples facing the same challenges. So definitely keep sending your questions my way!
Today's Question:
I am having a few small wedding planning issues and I don't know what to do. We have decided that we want four people on each side (maid of honor and 3 bridesmaids). I have 7 sisters, obviously I don't have room for all of them so I don't want any of them in the wedding that way I don't offend anyone. I have decided on a couple of my closest friends from back home and my soon to be sister in law as three of the slots. I still have one open which I am sure will be filled quickly.
My fiance on the other hand says "guys don't ask each other we just know that we are going to be in the wedding." NO! That so does not work for me. I want to know who is going to be in my wedding in advance. He keeps saying I will ask them two weeks before so they have time to get fitted for their tux's. What the heck?! I don't want to wait until the last minute! I have tried to explain my frustration with him but its like he thinks that is just "how guys are." Is this really "how guys are?" What do I do?
My Answer:
I myself have a lot of siblings and we tried to have them all in our bridal party...super hard, so I think you're smart to skip trying to add in all 7 sisters. What I would do is try to include them in some way, whether it's helping out at the ceremony or reception or in planning bridal showers, etc. just so that they continue to feel special and needed. Plus a smaller bridal party definitely saves you money in the long run.
Now as far as the guys go, your groom is definitely wrong in his belief that asking his guys two weeks before the wedding is ok. While you may be able to try on tuxes two weeks before the wedding (that's cutting it way too close for me) there are other things to consider, like travel arrangements and boutonnieres, meals, not to mention that these guys should be involved in planning the bachelor party and helping your groom with the tasks you've asked him to complete for the wedding. Not to mention, the worst problem could be that your groom has friends who are now assuming they're in the bridal party because they're his friends but may not be when he actually has to limit himself to 4 guys. You certainly wouldn't want to cause any undue problems right before the ceremony.
If you know that just telling him these points doesn't work and you will need another option, I would suggest you make up a quick wedding website (readers see below) and tell him that you need to be able to list his groomsmen on the site for the guests to see and that you need each groomsman to submit a photo for the site of them with your groom. This will force your groom to a) name his groomsmen and b) let each groomsman know they're in the wedding so that they can send you a photo. The end result is you getting what you want, plus you gain a great resource for your guests with the addition of your own personal website.
As far as etiquette, most couples pick their bridal parties within minutes to weeks after their engagement, and for the reasons listed above, it is certainly against etiquette to wait so long to inform his groomsmen of their "pretty cool honor" in my opinion. I hope that any of this has helped. Most men are not usually aware of the rules of wedding planning but I hope that he begins to listen to you and if nothing else, does this just because he loves you and knows it's important to you.
**Readers: This bride did end up wanting to know a few ideas for great and free wedding websites. Here are a few of my personal favorites. They all have similar features, but I know the one thing I looked for on all of them was a template that fit my wedding theme (carnival) and most of these sites have lots of options. Another cool thing is that some of them offer the ability for your guests to RSVP online, which allows you to keep your wedding a little bit "greener" by not making all of those RSVP cards and cheaper by not having to pay for all the stamps! Good luck finding one that matches your needs. I'm sure it's out there.**
www.projectwedding.com/ourwedding (note: this is where I did mine)
~A
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to leave your comment here!