I don't know what I'm writing this post about yet, so first of all, happy 2 year anniversary to me and my boyfriend Guillaume! Who knew that a shaggy-haired, young skater boy would have the ability to charm a preppy do-gooder like myself....it must have been his french accent! Just kidding, love you babe!
Anyway, I'm looking through the latest issue of
Martha Stewart Weddings to see if I can find anything to share with you, and I've decided to post a question that was answered in her magazine. I think it's a question we often ask ourselves before asking our bridal party to be our bridal party, and I think it's something you definitely have to consider when you're trying to figure out who has the time, the money, and the resources, to help you out on your big day. So here goes:
Q: When I ask my friends to be bridesmaids, I want to let them know up front exactly what their responsibilities are going to be. But I'm afraid I'll forget something! What sorts of things do bridesmaids typically need to know before they say yes to the honor?
A: Try not to make a formal request to your prospective attendants until some of your planning is out of the way. You'll want to have chosen a date, a locale, and a level of formality, since these will affect so much. But you should also allow at least six months for buying dresses, and banking both cash and vacation days for the event.
The first question likely to leap to a friend's mind will be, "how much will this cost me?" That can be hard to answer right away--you haven't even looked at dresses yet! But do some scouting and pick a range (don't forget to factor in shoes, accessories, and hairstyling). Will you ask them to travel? If you're not sure yet, be candid about the possibility. And speaking of travel: What sort of bachelorette party do you have in mind--an evening at a local restaurant, a limo-chauffeured pub crawl, or a weekend in Vegas?
The question right behind that one will be, "How much time will this require?" Look at your own to-do list and decide how much participation you'll want from your bridesmaids. Will you ask them to help address envelopes, go dress shopping with you, visit venues, pick the bouquets, research carbon offsets, etc? Though there's a good chance your friends will want to help you because they enjoy being part of your life, make it clear that they can decline to do these favors if they prove difficult.
The question lurking in the back of her mind will be, "How much energy will this require?" This may be the hardest question to answer. You've never been a bride before, so you may not know how you'll handle the stress. Talk openly with your friends about your worries and your intentions, and ask them to be honest about how much of your venting they can bear.
Once your attendants have made a commitment, be sure you stay committed to the level of involvement you've asked of them. And if you do find yourself wanting something from them that wasn't part of the original briefing, be aware how much extra you're asking. Make sure your bridesmaids know that they can always come to you if the burden gets to be too much.
I hope this has helped you, as it's a nice overview of what to consider when choosing your bridal party. And always be aware that if you're asking something of your bridesmaid that is just out of their budget or time range, they may not participate in your wedding, reception, or both. Then you'll have to make the decision of what is most important, a wedding in Tahiti without your bridal party, or a wedding close to home that everyone could attend. There is no wrong answer, just make sure to consider it!
Well I'm headed back to work for a short time, and then home for anniversary night with the man. I promise to write some great (individual) posts later this week!
Love, A