Preventing the Monster: Attack of the Bridezilla

We've all watched the shows and seen the crazy brides who throw cakes in the trash and take out their stress on unexpecting family members and we think "WOW that will never be me!" but I'm surprised by the fact that many of us turn into one anyway, sometimes without noticing. As I'm reminded by the many wedding books I own as reference, we often take out our wedding frustrations out on those we care about most - our fiancee, family and friends.

As you all know I'm in the process of planning my own wedding and doing my very best to stay sane and "un-zilla'd", so I thought that for all of you out there going through your own wedding planning (especially if you're nearing the wedding) it'd be a good idea for us all to review ways to stay "zilla-free".

1. Stay aware of the need and importance to not become a "bridezilla". The more we forget what our goal is, the more likely we are to consciously or unconsciously take on "zilla" ways. Becoming a bridezilla can not only ruin your wedding experience, but also the experience of your wedding for those around you. It's supposed to be a happy time!
2. Understand that while your wedding may be the most important thing to you right now, it is likely not the most important thing to friends and family. For example, your wedding does not come before a friend's big corporate presentation or your brother's state championship basketball game. Try to refrain from acting like if someone doesn't put your needs first, they're not doing enough.
3. Remember what is important. I, like many people, am extremely concerned about the look of my wedding and wanting everything to be perfect, because as a wedding planner I am judged by my peers on the quality of my work - they expect something amazing. But I also have to remember that if my flowers show up in the wrong shade of pink or my cake doesn't look exactly as I imagined it, that's ok too. In all reality, after your wedding night you probably won't care about any of those items anyway.
4. Become a clear communicator. Let friends and family know what is expected of them in their individual roles and any costs associated. If you want your bridesmaids to buy $200 shoes for your wedding you probably should have told them before you asked them to be your bridesmaid. If you're expecting your shy sister to make a toast at the wedding, give her ample time to prepare and even the ability to say no if it makes her too uncomfortable.
5. Money is tight today, so be aware of the financial needs of those around you. You may be able to afford fabulous bridesmaids dresses from top name designers, but your friends may not. So make sure that you give your friends options. I let my bridesmaids pick their own dress from any store they wanted, in any price point, with just the restriction of color, fabric, and length. This not only let them pay what they could, but also allowed them to pick out a dress they felt comfortable in. This also applies to simple things like overall wedding budget (if your parents are paying).
6. Take some time weekly (or daily if you can) to relax. The more you stay relaxed, the less likely you are to take your stress out on the people around you...most likely your fiancee (due to close proximity). I love bubble baths for relaxation, but another great outlet for some people is exercise. Burning a few calories not only gives you endorphins and makes you feel better, but you look better in your wedding dress for having done it. Going to a local tanning booth can help as well, especially if you're in a rainy dreary state like me which has a lack of natural sunlight (just remember to be safe..skin cancer is no fun).

These are just a few steps, and I'm sure there are many more out there. If you have suggestions or stories of when you (or someone you know) became a bridezilla that we could all learn from, please feel free to comment below.

Happy "Bridezilla-free" Planning!
~A

Follow Me on Pinterest

I am on pinterest almost daily (far more often than I'm able to blog lately) so if you want to see what I'm currently interested in follow me!

If you are not currently on pinterest.com you can ask for an invitation on their main page (and wait a week or two to be added) or you can comment your email below and I can send you an invite as soon as I'm able.

My Wedding in Real Time: The Little Things

Once you've secured the big vendors (we've done all but our cake so far) there's not a lot of big work to do except focus on working hard to save money to pay for them. In the meantime, I've found that this is also a great time to work on some of the smaller things while you're not so busy.

Invitations: I decided that to save money I would design them myself. I used Adobe Illustrator and InDesign to mimic a design I'd seen on Etsy.com. If you have any design ability I would always encourage you to do your invites yourself. Paper and printing costs are minimal and usually won't compare to the large costs you'll find online or in stationery stores. If however, you don't have the ability to design, look at stationery makers that offer printable designs as a way to save costs. Additionally, choosing a flat print versus a letterpress is always a money-saver.

Photos on the left are from Etsy Vendors: JackandJillWedding and JenSimpsonDesign

Programs: Again completed myself. Now just preparing to get them printed. I'd like to print all of my paper items at once, sometime in the next month...however I haven't figured out the actual flow of the ceremony quite yet, so that may mean I need to get them printed later.

Guest Book: I didn't want a traditional guest book...I knew that from the beginning. I also didn't want your typical signing of the matting to a photo. I wanted something new and unique. So I went straight to my daily inspiration source, pinterest.com. They have so many great ideas! I decided on something that focuses more on notes than signatures...but you'll have to wait to see exactly what it is.

To complement my guest book table I've been gathering vintage books (from a book re-saler down the street who sells them for $2) and scored some great frames and boxes from HomeGoods, my newest love. If you have a HomeGoods in your area, I definitely recommend you make visiting the store a weekend chore because you can find so many great accessory items for the wedding at such discounted prices. And remember a tip from one of my recent blogs...you can always spray paint it if it's the wrong color!

Favors: I scored some great canning jars from a local WinCo (grocery store) for super cheap and have been trying to figure out exactly what to do with them. I think right now I'll be filling them with one of our favorite snacks and then covering the lids with a colored fabric, with a cute tie which lists the person's name and table number. This way the favor doubles as a place card, once again saving you paper & printing costs. I got a fabulous craft punch from JoAnn Fabrics (somehow the one near my house has almost everything on sale almost all of the time) for the tag. It's EK brand and I encourage you to look for them. They're much cooler than your typical Fiskars punches.

Gift Registry: We decided to start a base registry before Christmas in case anyone wanted ideas for gifts, but it turns out no one did. So we're ahead of the game for our wedding, in that we're pretty much done with our registry already. I had been really excited to use a new registry site called giftregistry360.com but it turns out that right now they're not linking with Target, one of our stores, so that's made it not as useful as I would have liked. If you're planning on registering at Macy's, Crate & Barrel, Sur La Table, Williams & Sonoma or Home Depot I'd encourage you to check it out.

What's Left to Do

In the 3.5 months left before my wedding, I still have much to do, but there are some items I really need to prioritize in the next few weeks. First of all, we really need to get to the suit rental company and pick out my fiancee's suit as well as pick out the suits for all of our groomsmen, ring bearers and readers. I still haven't secured my hair and makeup because we're trying to get other things paid for first, but that also needs done. We have some cake tastings we need to do in January and I need to start getting some dates for wedding showers and bachelorette parties, since Spring Break and Easter will take up some valuable weekends right before the wedding.

I think I'm not into the "stressing out stage" yet, but I foresee it coming about February 1st. If I can stay on top of things as I'd like, I think I'll be ok, but if I let things go and don't get things done (which I'm trying really hard not to let happen) it's going to mean far more stress later. Oh and did I mention it's now diet time?! Time to lose about 15 lbs in 3 months....exercise and nutrition will be key. I'll let you know how it goes...I'm crossing my fingers, lol.

My wish for any of you who are near or right where I'm at right now, is that you take one day in the next month just for you. Even if it's just a day to laze on the couch, watch tv, and relax I encourage you to do it for the sake of your sanity. For me, a great bubble bath can often help calm the stress. And just remember that you're not alone, so many women have done it before you, and it will all be worth it in the end.

Happy Planning!

~A

Photography Credits

In response to a comment I received recently regarding linking to the photographer who took any photo on my website or a more direct link to that site:

Three years ago when I began this blog, blogging was fairly new and the rules regarding the appropriate way to credit an image was unclear. Often times a blog received a photo, posted that photo without reference to its photographer, then another blog copied that photo and posted it, which was then copied by yet another blog, etc. This process made finding the origin of a photo and its photographer very difficult. About a year ago, wedding bloggers agreed to begin giving more specific credit and links to approach exactly that issue. Since then I have tried very hard to give better credit to any images I use...but there are always some times where that is still difficult. As just an individual who does this on the side, I do not have the resources that big corporate blogs do to keep track of this.

To anyone who has found their photo on my site without permission or credit, I always encourage you to let me know (via comment on that post) and I will give proper credit as soon as I can. The only other option to remedy this is to remove any content with a photo and I feel currently that it would be a disservice to my readers to do so. However, if any photographer would prefer their photo be removed from my site, if requested via comment I would happily do that as well. Please contact me at triedandtrueweddings@gmail.com if you have any questions or concerns.

Should this issue become a problem, I may indeed need to remove much of the photo content on my website. To my readers, I will keep you updated in the event that this occurs. Thank you for continuing to read my blog and coming here for wedding inspiration.

~A

New Resources for Inspiration

If you're anything like me, you're much more into looking at the photos in magazines than reading the articles....especially when it comes to design and weddings. I'm always looking to see something new, something beautiful, something unique. For the past few years our only resource for those things have been magazines and blogs, but in case you haven't heard yet, there are a few new options for idea searching:

Pinterest (pinterest.com): the second love of my life, Pinterest is a collection of millions of online photos. Each photo (they feature photos of everything from travel to food, wedding ideas, and so much more) links to where it was found on the web, giving you a direct link to the actual resource--no more wondering where the photo came from. So for instance, when you see a photo of a new favor idea, you can click on it and find the instructions on how to make it. Once you've become a member (you can ask to become a member from the main page and wait a day or two to be accepted or get a friend to invite you and be accepted right away) you can arrange photos you like into inspiration boards and download an app which allows you to pin photos from the web. For wedding inspiration this is a FABULOUS resource and a great way to keep an online collection of your inspiration!

Wedding Gawker (weddinggawker.com): Wedding Gawker is a site I actually found through a Pinterest photo I clicked. It's basically pinterest for weddings only. I'm new to exploring the site, so I don't know everything about it, but I've spent hours viewing photos and getting inspired. I'm sure you will too.

If you know of additional new resources for wedding inspiration please comment below. It's great that the internet has now allowed us to inspire each other despite being thousands of miles apart.

Happy Planning!
~A

Saving Money for the Wedding

It seems now that we've picked out most of the main elements and put down deposits, the game becomes about managing money. I'm sure anyone who has paid for a significant amount of their wedding knows exactly how I feel. Sometimes you worry how the bills will get paid, and on top of the normal stress a wedding provides, that's certainly not desirable.

But as I put in my last post, focusing on saving money on wedding elements where you can helps a little. Trying other ways to save money in your daily life helps as well. Some simple tips I'd suggest, but I'm sure there are a lot more include:

1. Come up with a budget and stick to it. Once you've defined it, figure out how much you can pay down vendors each month. Do not wait until the end to figure this out. I'd hate to see a bride try to find a few thousand dollars in a few days.


2. Eliminate those "extra" things you enjoy--drink less Starbucks and more home-poured coffee. Make a sack lunch instead of going out. You'll be surprised how much it saves you.


3. Get rid of monthly bills you don't really need--for example that Netflix account. I usually watch one movie from there every few months yet I'm paying $12 per month. It would be cheaper just to go down the street to a redbox.


4. Lower monthly bills by taking out that sports package you love or that HBO you can't get enough of.


5. Look to buy used items for your wedding or personal life from places like Craig's List or Ebay. Many of them are very new.


6. Find great deals on Etsy. I personally just bought my garter there. Homemade things can often be purchased cheaper there than in the store.


7. Cash out PTO. My employer allows me to cash out my extra PTO hours twice a year. With over 6 weeks of PTO accumulated right now, I am getting about $1000 for free from cashing in some, leaving still plenty of days for my honeymoon and holidays.


8. For your birthday, ask for items that would help you save money or help you purchase things for the wedding. I know I asked for Nordstrom gift cards so that I would be able to purchase shoes and jewelry for the wedding without spending my own money. Usually your family is happy to contribute this way.


9. Ask friends and family for other money-saving tips. I know there are plenty of them out there!

I encourage any of you to leave your own money saving tips in the comments section below. And just remember how happy you'll be when the wedding is over and you get to have some extra money in your pocket. Until then, remember that you only get one day and this is worth it!

Cost-Saving Tips for Savvy Brides

In planning my wedding lately (specifically purchasing things for it) I've found that there is definitely a need for many brides to be savvy. When you start realizing exactly how much things cost and watch the expenses continue to pile up you, if you're anything like me you start to have a mini panic attack. But since most of us can't fix the problem by snapping our fingers or growing money on trees I've found two tips which have helped me save money that I thought I would share with you.

1. Be Coupon Savvy! I don't typically get the Sunday paper but subscribed to the weekend paper service (Fri, Sat & Sun) in order to get the Sunday coupons and ads--you can just pick up a Sunday paper but I found I'd often forget to. For a small amount each month I'm able to save much more than the subscription has cost. During the week I think about items I need to purchase and then scan each Sunday paper looking for deals on that item specifically.

For instance, I knew I wanted gold charger plates but purchasing them cost $4 per plate and renting them was $2 per plate, which was still pretty pricey to only use them once. Well I happened to find that my local craft store had them 2 for $3 and so at first I went and bought 30 and figured I'd go the next weekend and buy 30 more (which I did) and then the store kept them on sale an additional week, so I was able to purchase another 40 before the sale was over. In all, I've saved so much money and plan to rent the 100 plates out to the public after the wedding to recoup my costs.

2. My second word of advice is to be spray paint savvy! Often times you look at something you absolutely love (a vase, a crate, a candle holder, etc.) and go, "I wish this was gold, because it would work really well with my wedding decor." Well there's no reason to do this. Spray paint is a magical wonder. For an average of $3-$4 per can you can take almost any item and change its color to match your wedding. I bought some really cheap place card holders that were silver and spray painted them gold to hold my table numbers. Easy fix!

3. If you have six months or more to plan for your wedding, buy items sporadically over the course of your engagement. Making small expenditures each weekend is much easier on the budget than buying things all at once. So pay for your shoes and jewelry one month, your invitations and envelopes another, and vases for your tables a different month. Obviously toward the end things will pile up and you'll have more expenses than you'd like, but paying things down over time and spreading out your purchases will lower the financial stress you'll have on the big day.

These are just a few of the tips I've learned in planning my own wedding, but if you have some cost saving ideas please share them below. They'll help me and all of my readers as well. Happy planning!

~A

How to Ensure a Successful Wedding Dress Shopping Experience

This weekend I went wedding dress shopping...and found the one! Four months or so from now I'll be picking it up from Ania Collection, a bridal boutique in Portland. I definitely recommend it and my sales associate Emily was the best! If you want someone to listen to you, understand the look you're going for, and treat you great she is definitely someone to ask for. I can't share much about the dress because too many people I know read this blog, but it definitely combines Hollywood glam with a bit of modern elegance.

But enough about me. I figured the most helpful thing to do for my readers is to give you a few tips on ensuring a successful wedding dress shopping experience.

1. Decide on your dress budget and exactly who will be paying. Be prepared to stick to that budget and not up it a few thousand dollars when you see a to-die-for dress.
2. Research local bridal salons. Find out the salons nearest you or at least those you'd be willing to travel to. I know some brides are willing to fly across the country for Kleinfeld's but most brides aren't.
3. Once you know which bridal salons are in your area, examine which would be best for your budget. If you're looking for something under $1,000 there's always a David's Bridal nearby. Then most other shops center in the $750-$3000 dresses or in the $3000 and up dresses (at least in my area). Each site should list the gown designers they carry and a quick google search should answer your questions about the price range for each designer if you don't already know.
4. Schedule an appointment at two or more shops. Not everyone gets their dress in the first shot, so scheduling multiple appointments is key. You can always cancel the second or third appointment once you find "the one". 
5. Decide who you'd like to go with you to your appointment. Enough "Say Yes to the Dress" episodes should have taught you to limit opinions and pick about 2-3 people, but if you need to invite more that's ok too. My biggest problem was getting everyone's schedules to mesh. It may take you a few weeks to coordinate a day and time that works for everyone and hopefully that's ok for your timeline.
6. Prior to your appointment look through wedding magazines, online blogs, and the web pages of those designers who will be at your salons. When you find a dress you like rip it out or save it to your computer and print. Then bring these images with you to your appointment. It doesn't matter if they're not actually dresses you can afford; showing your associate ideas of what you like will help him/her to find a dress that's within your budget with those elements.
7. On the day of your appointment make sure to wear a nude or white strapless bra and underwear. You may also want to bring a pair of heels similar to the type you might choose to wear on the big day. Bring a hair tie if you plan on wearing your hair up for the wedding and want to see how it might look with a veil or if you've decided on exactly how you'll do your hair do it that way before your appointment. Oh and don't forget your camera! You'll want to take pictures of the winning dress and these special moments with family and friends.
8. Be prepared financially! If you find your dress you'll be asked to put down half of the total as a deposit. And don't forget that the deposit may also include a veil or sash or floral headpiece that you've chosen to purchase as well. So bring with you anywhere from an additional $300 to $3000 (depending on your budget) to pay for the extras.

I think those are the main things to remember but if you have any questions or additional things from your own experience our readers should consider, please comment below. Happy planning everyone!

~A